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I understand. Actually, I'm going through that right now.
I’ve been writing, rewriting, editing, and re-editing my fantasy book, The Tirwine over a three-year period. I’ve read books and websites. I’ve prayed. I’ve attended conferences; I’ve shared my manuscript with agents and editors. I’ve taken webinars classes. My critique group has read it. I’m going through it, just one more time. I’ve even found a content editor online who loves to read and write fantasy books and has very good references. So what’s the problem? I’ll re-ask my question again. Have you ever wanted something so bad, only to find that when the time comes, you’re too scared to do anything? My hands shake; my brain has shut down, and the “what if’s” begin: * What if it’s not ready? * What is it’s not good enough? * What if it doesn’t make sense? * What if I spend all that money for nothing? * What if the editor doesn’t like it? What if...what if...what if...? Should I find someone else to read it? Should I redo the whole thing? Should I take a deep breath and just send my manuscript and money to the editor? Have these ‘hesitations’ ever happened to you? I had a friend who wanted to sell cars. He took classes and read books. He watched his peers with many years of experience. In the end, he quit. How do you master your fears? Please share your ideas in the comment section below. Thanks!
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I would like to share the last four and a half years of my life.
In March of 2010, I had macular pucker eye surgery on my left eye. It did not work. December of the same year I had cataract surgery on the same eye. September of 2012 and again in December, I had skin cancer removed from my face and forehead. After Christmas, of the same year, I had foot surgery on my right foot for a torn ligament. Surgery on my left foot, for another torn ligament is still pending. Because of continued pain in my right foot, I had to quit my teaching job in February of 2013. August of 2013 we had to put-down our lab, DJ, who was eleven years old. Arthritis, which began in my right hand in 2008, has spread to my left hand, to my knees, hip, and right shoulder, and my feet. Over the years, it has gone from mild to severe in several areas, causing much pain and stiffness. January of 2014 I found out that I had developed lactose intolerance. Then two months later, I discovered I was gluten sensitive. Last June I found out that the bones the Doctor fused on my right foot did not hold, and that I have severe arthritis in both feet due to the injuries. The Doctor wants to re-fuse the bones again and do bone graphs on both feet. Slowly and for unknown reasons, I developed muscle pains throughout my body, exhaustion and stomach problems (besides the lactose and gluten issues). I have mild sleep Apnea Then, finally, in August, I was told I have Fibromyalgia. Because of my left eye, the cataract in my right eye, and my double vision, it is difficult to read. Jesus, my God and Savior, has blessed me with the most wonderful husband, who has been my best friend for 36 years. We have two great sons, who add so much to my life. We have two fantastic daughters-in-law, who are such a blessing to our family. So far, we have four grandchildren, who bring joy to our lives. I have a sister, who is always there for me. I have a small but nice home and plenty to eat. God has placed wonderful friends in my life. He has given me a passion for writing. Thanks to e-readers and computers, I am able to learn more about writing. However, I want to tell you what my God does for me! Without Him, I would not be here today. Without Him, I would not get out of bed every morning. Without Him, I would not be able to bear the pain every time I do my stretches and exercises. God helps me rest at nights when the pain keeps me awake. He gives me the strength and endurance to ignore the pain when I have to go shopping for a short list of groceries. He helps me to focus on what I have instead of the things I can no longer do, such as teach, read small print, drive at night, ride my motorcycle, go hiking with our sons and their families, go snorkeling, go to car and motorcycle shows, or eat my favorite foods. He helps me when I feel depressed. If God were to give me the choice, either – No pain, but He would not be in my life, Or Pain, but He would be part of my life. I know what my answer would be. I know without giving it a thought. I choose God the Father, Jesus, my Savior, and the Holy Spirit!! He is always faithful. He is with me, many times before I call out to Him. He is my strength when I am weak. He floods my heart with peace. His shoulders are wide. He loves me so much that He corrects me when I sin. Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child. Thank you, Lord, for calming me!! If you are going through similar issues, either health or other areas, please put your faith in Jesus Christ and you will have His loving arms around you, because He loves you. He WILL help you, no matter your past or your present. And you will be with Him for eternity. How has God made a difference in your life? I read and write Christian fantasy. I enjoy the action and creativity that I find in fantasy books. However, I want more than a great story. Christian fantasy books have situations where the characters go through many problems. Many Christian fantasy books have helped me understand God and his love for me in a life-changing way. They have also shown me where to find strength to endure my own hard times.
I deliberately have scenes in my books where my main characters are struggling, hurting, or facing a hard decision. We all have problems, and we can learn from fictional characters the correct way to handle them or the wrong approach. However, the question is, how do you handle your problems and decisions? The characters in my stories have problems, some small and others huge. At times, my characters use the wrong approach to solving troubles. However, as they mature, I have them make better choices. I want readers, through my characters, to understand God's love, forgiveness, and guidance in a deeper way. Then, of course, apply them to your life. If we are willing to allow God to take the driver’s seat of our lives we can sit back and watch the world, and our problems, go by. Sometimes God takes away our problems or illnesses; however, many times, He calms us and helps us through them. Either way, He is always there for us. Last week, we learned that God tells us to forgive. Especially when we don’t feel like it, even when the other person doesn't want it; we still need to forgive.
I want to make one thing clear. Many people do feel very bad when they hurt someone. I’m not talking about them. That leads us to the second reason. Forgiveness is for us, not the offender. At some point, someone will hurt us so deeply that we won’t want to forgive them. However, forgiveness does not mean they were innocent. What they did was wrong. So depending on the “act or repeated acts” against you, be careful around the person, if necessary, stay away from them. However, unforgiveness will eat us alive. There is a more gruesome analogy. Ancient Romans tied the corpse of the victim to the murderer’s back until the murderer was infected. That’s what unforgiveness does. We’re infected, weighed down by the corpse of unforgiveness. We have trouble thinking about anything else, much less the good things in our lives. And while we’re unnecessarily burdened, the offender, many times, won’t give it another thought. Years ago, I received very good advice. “Forgive daily!” It takes time, but if you don’t want to carry that corpse, practice forgiving until you do it. One day, you will discover that you have forgiven them. The third reason is found in Luke 11:4 of the Bible – Forgive us our sins, as we also forgive everyone who sins against us (NLT). If we don’t forgive those who've sinned against us, God won’t forgive us. Is there unforgiveness in your life? Then, forgive them. You are worth it! |
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