I’m a relational person; I like to spend time with people and talk. The best gifts I’ve received has always been the, “Mom, let’s go out to lunch.” Or, “I’ll call you soon.” And then they do.
My husband and I go for motorcycle rides almost every weekend. We ride for an hour to an hour and a half, stop for breakfast or lunch, then ride home. The whole trip should take two to three hours, but usually it’s five. We sit in the restaurant talking, planning, and laughing.
Again, I’m a relational person.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that he’s not cutting me off nor is he telling me that he doesn’t want to spend time with me. When he’s focused on a home project, he’s in his work box. He’s just trying to get the job done so he can move on to something else.
While my husband likes to talk and spend time with family and friends, he’s definitely a doer. He doesn’t like to waste time. He focuses on how to get this done right and quickly. He also doesn’t like to have his time wasted with trivial stuff.
When I understood him better, we grew closer and, “Sigh”, the projects were completed much faster.
Are you relational or a doer? How about those closest to you? What do you do to make your relationships work best when the two of you are so different?
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